When people sit down to write a will, the question that often creates the most hesitation is simple: “Who should I name as my executor?”
Many will-makers worry about an executor withholding money or causing family tension. Those concerns usually point to a deeper issue, which is whether the person you have in mind is genuinely suitable for the job. Your executor will handle your estate, deal with lawyers and banks, and communicate with your family at a stressful time, so the choice deserves real thought.
This article sets out five practical red flags that suggest someone may not be the best person to name as your executor.
What an Executor Actually Does
Before looking at warning signs, it helps to be clear about the role. An executor is responsible for:
- Locating the will and applying for the legal authority to deal with the estate.
- Collecting and safeguarding assets.
- Paying debts, tax, and expenses.
- Distributing what remains to the beneficiaries named in the will.
- Keeping records and, where appropriate, providing information to beneficiaries.
It is a position of trust. The person you choose should be reliable, organised, and able to act fairly.
Red Flag 1: They Are Disorganised
Everyone misplaces a bill once in a while. That is not the problem. The concern is someone who regularly misses deadlines, loses important documents, or never finishes paperwork.
Executors need to:
- Track forms and correspondence from banks, tax authorities, and the court.
- Keep clear records of what has been collected and paid out.
- Follow legal and tax deadlines that can carry penalties if missed.
If you would hesitate to let a person handle your business accounts, they may struggle as an executor. You can still provide for them as a beneficiary but choose someone else to manage the estate.
Red Flag 2: They Have Money Problems
An executor does not need to be a financial expert, but they do need basic financial responsibility. Think carefully before naming someone who:
- Regularly spends beyond their means.
- Has a history of serious gambling or uncontrolled debt.
- Borrows from friends and family and is slow to repay.
The executor controls access to estate funds, at least for a period of time. If you are already uneasy about how they handle their own money, that concern will not improve when they are responsible for yours.
Professional support can help with complex estates, but no adviser can fix severe personal money habits in the person you have chosen.
Red Flag 3: They Avoid Honest Conversations
Another red flag is a person who dislikes transparency, avoids hard conversations, or has a habit of keeping others in the dark.
Executors must:
- Share appropriate information with beneficiaries.
- Explain what is happening with the estate in general terms.
- Answer reasonable questions, within legal and practical limits.
If you can imagine this person refusing to answer questions or giving only vague updates, you may see trouble ahead. Concerns about executors often arise where there is very little communication or where the executor treats the estate as if it were their personal property.
While an executor has duties first to the estate itself and must follow the will and the law, a complete lack of openness tends to fuel suspicion and disputes. Choose someone who can be calm, firm, and reasonably transparent.
Red Flag 4: They Are Already in Conflict With Beneficiaries
Think about the relationships between your potential executor and the people who will inherit. Problems can surface if:
- There is a long history of arguments or resentment.
- One person feels another is already “favoured.”
- There have been past disagreements about money or care arrangements.
You cannot remove every possible disagreement from family life, but naming one person who is already in serious conflict with others can make those tensions much worse once you are no longer there to mediate.
In some cases, a neutral executor, perhaps a different relative, trusted friend, or professional, may serve the family better than putting one “side” in charge.
Red Flag 5: Their Circumstances Make the Role Unrealistic
Sometimes the person you trust most is simply not in a good position to take on the job. Consider whether your proposed executor:
- Has significant health issues that limit their capacity.
- Lives very far away and rarely travels back.
- Works in a role with long, inflexible hours.
- Is already overwhelmed with caring responsibilities.
- Has said, even gently, that they are nervous about the idea.
Serving as an executor takes time and energy. If the person you have in mind is caring for a partner, managing their own health challenges, or already under great pressure, adding legal and administrative work may not be fair to them.
You can talk this through in advance. Many people are relieved to be asked and happy to serve. Others will be honest that they are not the right fit. It is far better to know their limits now than for them to decline after your death.
Final Thoughts
Choosing an executor is not about rewarding the person you love most. It is about appointing someone who can carry out a serious administrative and legal role with care and basic competence.
As you make your will, ask yourself:
- Do I trust this person to act fairly toward everyone named in my will?
- Are they organised enough to handle paperwork and deadlines?
- Are they likely to communicate and keep proper records?
- Are their personal circumstances suitable for the responsibility?
If any of the red flags in this article feel familiar, consider naming a different executor or appointing more than one person to share the work. A brief discussion with a solicitor or estate planning professional can help you match your choice of executor to the reality of your estate and your family.
